This is Bode. He's very tired.
A day by day and often hourly account of a temp
Well, I don't see what's wrong with this campaign bus.
Hey guys, what's up? Sorry I'm a little late to post this morning - I was in the bathroom getting assistance from Republican Virginia State Senator Ryan McDougle with putting a tricky tampon in. I don't really know how my body works so I made sure he guided the applicator properly into my "dirty hole" to plug up my shame blood from another wasted egg. I'm such a whore! Anybutseriouslyhowdoesavaginaworkpleasetellme...
Today marks the one year anniversary that my dog died. Here's a link to the original post about him. He was a special little guy, and is missed. And by special I mean, well, you get the idea - here he is getting stuck behind computer wire:
I'm getting excited to perform at a show in Boston for the Women in Comedy Festival. That's kind of an oxymoron because we all know women aren't funny, but I plan on bringing my knitting, gossip mags, and best pillowcase for the invariable pillow fight that will ensue. Shenanigans!
Everyone please stop what you're doing to admire this gorgeous creature I spotted on the train this morning. You drinking it in? Yes - that is an actual Jersey Shore Paulie D original hair style. I had to take a picture because when you see something so rare, it should be immortalized. But don't worry - I put a black bar over his eyes so he's totally anonymous. Plus, you should never look a specimen like this in the eyes because if so, you will turn into gold and melt.
Good morning! Before you do anything, please, read this. Read this now. This piece was written by a good friend of mine, and in her words, here's what it's about:
Lindsay Lohan is back! If by back we mean being interviewed about what she wants to do with her life. Listen, I get it - addiction is a hell of a thing. And with parents like hers, I'd probably be hunting for the nearest crackpipe too. But actually, everyone's had some shitty things happen in their lives, and I can say with certainty not many of them will ever have the opportunities Lindsay Lohan had and STILL has. I think she can turn her life around and I'll bet you if she stays sober, she gets decent acting work eventually. She'll have to find a place to store her new cheeks and inflatable lips, but other than that she's a very beautiful girl with a lot of talent. What gets me, however, is how out of touch she is with the fact that everyone does things they don't necessarily want to do to survive. It's called responsibility and work. Here are her thoughts on this crazy thing called "work":