Wham Bam Instagram

An open letter to people who are pissed that Instagram will profit from their photos after January:

Hello,

So, a free service you use called Instagram has just announced that unless you cancel your account by January, they can sell your photos for commercial profit without giving you a cut. I really don't know what the big fucking deal is. For years this product has taken your crappy photos...and... "instagrammed" them to make them look way less crappy. SO way less crappy that even a photo of a half eaten cantaloupe slice taken at your local artisanal Brooklyn diner constitutes as "art" once it's gone through an Instagram filter, and ends up on my fucking Facebook page. Douche, please. You couldn't take a good picture of a sunset let alone a crouton if Instagram didn't make it look like you finished seven years of art school, and posses both the equipment and capability to develop a photo in a darkroom that you'll never, ever find yourself in.

Plus we can all agree that you only take pictures of clouds, food and nails. That's fucking creepy.

Legally, you're as fucked as that used-to-be-alive-pig-that's-now-bacon you took a picture of at brunch and put through a magical phone tool. To quote a MetaFilter user in 2010, "If you're not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold." So really, get over yourselves. Is anyone forcing you to use it after January? No? Oh, ok then, eat a dick before you complain about it on your equally free social media accounts that you also often bitch about constantly. But don't take a picture of the dick before you eat it, again, please. Actually, do - that'd be okay with me.

This video really sums up why you shouldn't use Instagram anyway. Anything that fits well with a Nickleback song while being parodied deserves to make money off of your "art".

Best,

Tempy