A day by day and often hourly account of a temp

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Baby Talk

Dear God, let me count the ways this PSA for breastfeeding is so wrong. Let's start with the fact that this baby has a full set of teeth. My nipples just shriveled up and hid inside my body. Honestly, my lungs are being flashed as we speak. ("Heeey lungs!" - my nipples). Now, I know some people breastfeed for a long period of time, and it's a personal choice, etc. But there's nothing more repellent than a tiny baby who talks in general, so I don't know why they decided to make a CGI one for a breastfeeding campaign. I don't know about you but when I feed a baby, I won't want it talking back to me. Can we talk again about the teeth? Ok, I'll stop. I'll let you be the judge.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I'm Going To Hollywood!

In three days I'll be in LA and I'm so excited I might just do the Jesse Spano freak out. Not that the weather isn't great here, I'm just looking forward to doing cheesy tourist stuff. My friends get angry at me for turning into my mom and taking 3,454,234,429 pictures, but then after a trip they're always like, "Where are the photos? Post the photos!!!"

Speaking of Jesse Spano and caffeine pills, where can I get some of those? I feel like I've been running on empty for weeks getting ready for this trip among other things. Maybe now would be a great time to start a cocaine habit. I can't think of a better place to do that than in LA. Here's to Hollywood!

Friday, April 13, 2012


See how I got your attention there? Sorry, that hasn't happened (yet). I did that because it was pointed out to me recently by a friend that I shouldn't have posted about Mad Men last week so soon after the episode, because the subject line of my last post had a spoiler. So, many apologies to any of you for that! That being said, I'd like to dedicate a little bit of time to one of Mad Men's unsung heroes, Stan Rizzo.

For those of you not familiar with the show, and for those of you who are, Stan Rizzo is the meat head on the left. Yeah, he's the guy who looks like he was on his way to a Packers game after giving a wedgie to his neighbor's kid. It's kind of like the Mad Men casting department went to the Mall of America, blindfolded themselves, and waved their fingers around in circles before pointing at anyone with a backwards baseball cap and announced, "THAT one!" Yeah, that one. Truthfully, every time he is in a scene I'm like, "Who's that guy again?" Yes, yes I know he's been a big deal in a lot of storylines. I remember he was in a hotel room with Peggy when she got half nekkid. Yes, I watch the show. But for some reason, every time he's on screen I just go, "Wait, what?"

So here's to Stan Rizzo, the only member of Sterling Cooper Draper Price whose character name I had to Google. Congratulations, Stan, for eluding the security team at the front desk every day and making your way into SCDP and thus, various story narratives. To Stan!

Monday, April 02, 2012

Fat Betty

This post is brought to you by the incomparable Fat Betty, my new favorite character on TV! If you missed last night's episode of Mad Men, our beloved bitchy mom, Betty Francis, put on a little weight. I know it was because she was pregnant in real life, but there was something very Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal about it. I mean, did you see her? She looked healthy! She kind of looked mature! And she sure as shit looked like she could take down that whisper thin wilting flower husband of hers Henry Francis. ("I think you're beautiful!" - Henry Francis. "Bring me more Bugles and sundaes!" - Fat Betty). Now, as we all know, January Jones can't act her way out of a wet paper bag, but this new development makes me actually like Betty Francis. Please tell me she's here to stay. Better yet, she should get her own show. Let's give Ugly Betty a run for her money, shall we? Fat Betty 2012!

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