If I Were A White, Middle Aged Certified Public Accountant Who Occasionally Writes For Forbes

A lot of responses have been written about an article in Forbes this week by Gene Marks entitled, "If I Were A Poor Black Kid". The hilarious comedian and Onion writer Baratunde Thurston even started a Twitter feed as A Poor Black Kid. So I figured I'd throw in my 2 cents.

If I Were A White, Middle Aged Certified Public Accountant Who Occasionally Writes For Forbes

President Obama gave an excellent speech last week about our nation’s veterans by calling for lawmakers to find them jobs. “For all our differences and disagreements, they remind us that we are all a part of something bigger,” said the President, “that we are one nation and one people.”

He's right. More and more of our troops are coming home to find that not only is the economy in a poor state, but it is very difficult to get a job.

The president's speech got me thinking. I have a job, but a lot of people don't. Some people have jobs, but choose to write opinionated blog posts about whatever they feel like for free. Regardless, the world is not fair to those who both have and don't have jobs. But no matter what, people will always have the opportunity to write about whatever they want on the internet. This is a fact. In 2011. 2012 may be a whole different ballgame, but let's get back to the issue at hand.

I am not a white, middle aged certified public accountant who occasionally writes for Forbes. I am a white woman who comes from white parents. So life was different for me than it might have been for someone who wasn't me, and I take pride in blanket statements. But that doesn't mean that having knowledge of basic facts, and cultivating coherent, inoffensive thoughts from said facts isn't a potential strong suit for someone who is a white, middle aged certified public accountant who occasionally writes for Forbes. It doesn't mean that they can't be sensitive when penning their beliefs. It doesn't mean there are no opportunities for them to ever grasp the basic concept of what is appropriate when dealing with sensitive matters they honestly know nothing about. I believe that everyone in this country has the chance to succeed at making only mildly offensive arguments as opposed to colossally offensive ones. Even a white, middle aged certified public accountant who occasionally writes for Forbes.

It takes brains. It takes a little bit of hard work, depending on how knowledgeable one is with selective fact grabbing. And if I was a white, middle aged certified public accountant who occasionally writes for Forbes I might say it takes technology. Because technology is a big fancy word and can mean just about anything. Maybe I would like to take the rest of the article to talk about how much I know about technology.

Technology.

If I was a white, middle aged certified public accountant who occasionally writes for Forbes, I would first and most importantly work to make sure I got the best profile picture possible. That's the first thing people see when they read your words to get knowledge. I would also make it my #1 priority to be able to read sufficiently, so I could write. I wouldn't care if I was a blogger at the worst blog with the worst IP address. Even the worst have their best. Chew on that. And the very best bloggers, even at the worst blogs, have more opportunities because I just said so. And getting good comments is the key to having more options. Because the more comments you get makes you more searchable on Google. Google is a part of technology.

Speaking of technology, I after I would write my blog piece based on thoughts in my head with said selective fact grabbing, I would find places to re-post on various social networking sites along with others. Many places, that I will now list off and link to, as a favor to you. Like Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Foursquare, CliffsNotes, Fubar, Gather.com, Google Buzz, LinkedIn, Livejournal, MySpace, AIM Pages, Badoo, Bebo, CyWorld, EarthFrisk, ECpod , Faves, Grono, Hi5, iBritz, LiveJourna,l LoventoMultiply, MyWebProfile, NetFriendships, Netlog, Orkut, Passado, PlaxoSkyrock, Tagged, Tribe, Trig, Windows Live Spaces, Yahoo! 360 Zaadz and CIA World Factbook .

I would then check to see if I was "trending" with sites like CNN, Blog Engage, Blogg-Buzz, BloggingZoom, BlogsVine, BookmarkUs.net, BuzzFlash, Content Pop, Digg, Fark ,Hubdub, NewsCloud and NewsHeat.

I might then make some dinner while I waited, using sites such as All Recipes, Barmano, Bake Space, Epicurious, CommunityFamily Oven, FohBoh, Kitchen Bug, MyDish, NibbledishRecipe Key, Recipezaar, Sharecipe, Tasty Planner, We Eatt and WineLifeToday.

Once you're done with your opinion piece and put it on your homepage, you'll want to get it published on a reputable blog. There are a lot of hard ones to get it into. But there are also those who are willing to take a chance on a white, middle aged certified public accountant who occasionally writes for Forbes. Most fancy newspapers, like the New York Times, are filed to the brim with the 1% best reporters imaginable. But there's a secret about them. They want to show diversity. They don't want to look like elitist asshats, so they take a chance on white, certified public accountants who occasionally write for Forbes, to make it look like they mix it up. Mind you, this would never work for anyone a notch lower than my status, but that is what would makes me exceptional. And you can be exceptional too.

President Obama was right in his speech last week. The lack of jobs is a national problem. But the biggest challenge we face isn't inequality. It's ignorance. Ignorance on the part of white, middle aged certified public accountants who occasionally write for Forbes. If only they knew how easy it is to disseminate their opinion far and wide about anything and everything. And it's all because of technology.

Now, don't even get me started on those poor black kids.