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Friday, January 13, 2012

Contagion: Catch It!

Well it's SAG awards season which means I come home to free DVD's in my mailbox. The theory is that SAG members are supposed to watch all the movies that are nominated, then vote. But seeing as how most people have not seen all the movies nominated, the studios send out DVD's to encourage people to see them. The problem with that is a. I think awards ceremonies are a sham so I don't vote anyway and b. No, I'm not going to watch The Help. I am excited about some of the others, so that's good.

The one movie that did NOT get nominated, however, is the one movie I wanted to see this year but never got the chance: It's the thriller caller Contagion. I finally rented it last night.

First of all, any movie where Gwyneth Paltrow dies within the first few minutes is right by me, so it got off to a good start. I'm not giving anything away - from the trailer you learn that she's the first patient to catch it. I was upset when Kate Winslet died (spoiler alert one line too late), but other than that, the movie was pretty damn good. I did learn a lot about disease, too. For example, did you know that the Spanish Flu killed 100 million people in 6 months? Holy crap, that was less than a hundred years ago. I learned some other interesting facts as well:

  • When you're one of the first to be infected by a highly contagious and fast acting yet still unknown virus, always take public transportation.
  • While on said public transport, especially when you start to feel faint and sweaty, be sure to touch every single handrail, pole and surface you find. Lean up against someone to hold yourself up. It's also best to do this while swaggering, and in slow motion.
  • When you finally die, make sure someone arranges a flashback scenario recounting how many people you touched that day.
  • Always trust the liberal blogger who thinks he has a cure.
  • But not at first. At first, you shun the liberal blogger. 
  • If you've shunned the liberal blogger, you'll die.
  • When you have been working on the case for days and then suddenly cough, say out loud, "Oh. No."
  • Don't go to Hong Kong.
That's about it. But seriously, the movie was really good. Tonight we will likely be watching Moneyball, and I'll let you know how that goes, although I'm pretty sure I'm going to learn that the underdog who loves math too much will eventually win something.


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