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American Idol recap, as told by a cranky old man:

"Now I don't get these kids running around the stage wearing all kinds of getups and looking like airy poofballs fallen right out of a fruit basket if you know what I mean. But last night I had to hear these nancy's sing these songs I ain't never heard of all dressed in their fancy black clothes looking younger than my own 2 year old grandson. And I'll tell you that boy is a genius. He could out-sing any one of those swishy fluffs any day of the week and twice on Sunday, which is NOT a day you'd find any of those boys at church, I'll tell you what. Probably spending time in one of those bathhouses scrubbing each others privates with a ball of feathers and fairy dust.

What was the question? Oh, yeah. So the guy with the glasses and looking like he hadn't seen a good barber in five days sang some song and then I had to take a whiz. When I came back there was a man dressed as a woman. I thought it was that Liza Minillo at first glance and the only reason I know who Liza is is because my wife made me go see her show last year when we went with the family to New York City. So I said, "Millie, why is Liza on that show?" and she said, "It's a boy with make up on." And by gum, she was right. He had more make up on than that whore I met in Belfast during WWII. And she wasn't much prettier than he was, I'll tell you that. What the blasted was her name? It was some weird Irish sounding one. Anyway, I didn't fight in WWII so some flameball could sing on the TV. I fought in WWII so people like that Miss California could flash her titties and make an old man smile.

Shauna, that was her name. Nice girl. What did you ask about the show? Oh, yeah. I voted for the guy who did the cover of that song by that rap guy, Kanyay. That's a good song, I like that one."