Wizard of Politics

It is a beautiful day in Oz

DOROTHY-BAMA: Oh, what a pickle! We have to help the people of Oz survive this major Poppy Field crisis and restore their faith in the Wizard! Why, what have we here? A man made of tin that cannot move? And I mean that metaphorically AND literally.

TIN MAN MCCAIN: Oil can.

DOROTHY-BAMA: What was that?

TIN MAN MCCAIN: Aw fuck, seriously? I said, oil can. Please. Okay, you happy you fucking hippie?

DOROTHY-BAMA: Oh, I don't know, what do you think the magic word is Toto-Rev.-Jeremiah-Wright?

TOTO-REV-JEREMIAH-WRIGHT: Rrrrruff! Fuck whitey!

DOROTHY-BAMA: Now that's not nice. Ha ha!

TIM MAN MCCAIN: Just give me some fucking oil you Socialist Commie bastard!

DOROTHY-BAMA: Okay, there you go.

Tin Man McCain starts to move *creak creak*

TIN MAN MCCAIN: Grumpthyruuu...

DOROTHY-BAMA: I'm sorry what was that?

TIN MAN MCCAIN: Thank you! Dick.

TOTO-REV-JEREMIAH-WRIGHT: Rrrrrrargh! White man's the devil!

DOROTHY-BAMA: Oh, please, just ignore him. He's a little grumpy.

Bidencrow comes walking in

BIDENCROW: Hey guys, so listen, I've found out that 90% of the poppy fields are withered but 45% of the citizens of Oz think they're not fully decayed. Let me say that again. 45% of the citizens of Oz think they're not fully decayed. That means that at least 55% believe the wizard has something to do with this, but 32% of those know that the wicked witch may have something to do with it. 32%.

COWARDLY LIEBERMAN: Wwwwhooooa! Wwwwwhattttt are we g...g...gonna do?

BIDENCROW: Lieberman, what the balls are you doing here?

COWARDLY LIEBERMAN: Jjjust... w...w... alking around, seeing who else I can agree with...

BIDENCROW: Eat shit, Lieberman.

TOTO-REV-JEREMIAH-WRIGHT: Rrrruff! The Jews are to blame!

DOROTHY-BAMA: Enough everyone. We have to stick together. Right old man? (thumps Tin Man McCain on his back)

TIN MAN MCCAIN: Don't touch me you fucking asshole.

Palinda comes flying inon a bubble, rifle at the ready. She shoots a flying monkey before landing.

PALINDA: Well hello everyone!

EVERYONE: Ah, shit.

PALINDA: Am I interruptin' somethin'? *wink*

TIN MAN MCCAIN: Palinda, just... just go.

PALINDA: Oooooh, look! Oil! (grabs the can from Tin Man McCain and starts to drink it down)

TIN MAN MCCAIN: I need that oil! Jesus, Palinda, what the hell! First that one (points to Dorothy-Bama) now you!

PALINDA: Oh relax! I got more oil than you'll ever need, scrappy. Oh, look, a dog! Hello dog! (goes to pat Toto-Rev-Jeremiah-Wright).

TOTO-REV-JEREMIAH-WRIGHT: Rrrrufff... white bitches is the worst! Rrrruff!

DOROTHY-BAMA: Oh, jeez...

COWARDLY LIEBERMAN: W...whhatare we gonna do, boss?

BIDENCROW: Maybe you should have thought of that before you gave George the Wizard a rim job.

COWARDLY LIEBERMAN: Why, I oughta...

TIN MAN MCCAIN: That's it, I'm outta here.

TOTO-REV-JEREMIAH-WRIGHT: Grrrrrr...cracker!