Remembering Today

How major political figures are remembering 9/11:

Rudy Giuliani

Wakes up at the crack of dawn. Runs downstairs to see all of the presents under the 9/11 tree. Gazes lovingly on the Jesus figure angel molded in his image at the top of the tree and says a little prayer. Accepts a few phone calls then sits down for a feast his wife has made in honor of his special day. Traditional fare: Chicken ala King. Get in his car and embraces another tradition- mowing down community organizers. Goes home, plays with his toys, goes to bed.


Barack Obama

Wakes up, gets dressed, goes to memorial service. Reminds self over and over again that today might not be a good day to talk about any sort of barnyard animal in lipstick no matter how old or folksy the saying.







George Bush

Celebrates in the same way he did the day before 9/11- not listening to vital information about national security and wrestling with his dog Barney.









Sarah Palin

Shoots a moose, eats a baby seal alive and sets a polar bear on fire. What was the question? Oh, 9/11. Whatever that was her advisers say it was very sad.