VP Talk

OBAMA: Have a seat, Hillary.

CLINTON: Ok!

OBAMA: I've... I heard some things. About you and... Bill Richardson.

CLINTON: What?

OBAMA: You know. Remember when he was thinking of running, and you went to him and asked him if you could be his VP, all the while hanging out with me?

CLINTON: Um, no, but OK.

OBAMA: Well, it's obvious you'd rather be his VP.

CLINTON: Bar, he's not even running.

OBAMA: I heard you went to his house three weeks ago.

CLINTON: So? He just got the new version of the Wii and we were trying out that game President Hero and...

OBAMA: It's obvious who you want to run with. And Hillary, it's okay.

CLINTON: What?

OBAMA: You can run with him. I just want you to be happy.

CLINTON: Wwwwwait a minute... are you telling me I'm not getting your VP spot?

OBAMA: No, I'm telling you that I know you'd rather be with him. And that's okay.

CLINTON: No, I'm not!

OBAMA: I'm alright with it, Hil. And to be frank I've... been meeting with some other candidates...

CLINTON: Hold the phone, Bar. You are so telling me you don't want me to be your VP, but you're twisting it all around to make it look like it's my fault. You are such a dude! "No, it's clear you want to be with so-and-so" all the while you've been seeing other people! It's like when Bill sat me down and said he suspected I was cheating on him with Warren Christopher, and I was like, "Huh?" and that's when he revealed that because of that, he fell into Monica's arms. Well, fuck you, Bar. I won't fall for that one. Again. I want to be your VP, I don't want to run with anyone else, and you better damn well get used to it. I'm a free woman, Bar. A free woman. And I will be running with whomever I want! But don't you dare put words in my mouth or tell me who I want to be with.

OBAMA: Hil...

CLINTON: What?

OBAMA: Oh, I'm sorry. I... still would like to consider you. You are right. I've been so wrong.

CLINTON: It's okay Bar.

OBAMA: (starts to weep) I've been under so much pressure!

CLINTON: (brings him into a hug) There, there.

OBAMA: You're too good for me. I don't deserve you. Just... just go.

CLINTON: Okay.

OBAMA: Just leave me!

CLINTON: I'm sorry it didn't work out Bar. Wait... wait a minute...

OBAMA: You knew that was a trap too, eh?

CLINTON: You are never getting rid of me.