The Economy

FANNIE MAE: What the hell are you doing?

FREDDIE MAC: Eating a burger.

FANNIE MAE: At a time like this?

FREDDIE MAC: Fuck you, Fannie. It's not a big deal.

FANNIE MAE: Not a big deal? NOT A BIG DEAL?!? You're the one who wanted to invest in subprime mortgage securities.

FREDDIE MAC: Puuuhlease, Fannie. Don't get your undies in a bundle. We're too important to fail. Something'll happen, don't you worry. Now here, have a doughnut.

FANNIE MAE: No.

FREDDIE MAC: C'mon, just eat the freaking doughnut.

FANNIE MAE: No, I'm too upset to eat.

FREDDIE MAC: You're thinking about your sister again, aren't you.

FANNIE MAE: I should have gone into student loans like she did.

FREDDIE MAC: There, there. There's no guarantee Sallie won't feel this crunch too.

FANNIE MAE: Would you stop patting my hair!

FREDDIE MAC: Why did we do this, Fannie? To give low- and middle-income Americans the chance to buy homes at a reasonable interest rate, that's why. It's not our fault the economy is in the shitter.

FANNIE MAE: Language!

FREDDIE MAC: Fannie, I love you.

FANNIE MAE: I… love you too.

FREDDIE MAC: We'll get through this.

FANNIE MAE: Hand me that Boston Crème.

FREDDIE MAC: There's my girl.

OFFICE OF FEDERAL HOUSING ENTERPRISE OVERSIGHT: Oh, hey guys!

FANNIE MAE: Oh, damn. Shhh… just stay still, maybe he won't see us.

FREDDIE MAC: So damn cocky.

OFFICE OF FEDERAL HOUSING ENTERPRISE OVERSIGHT: Whatchya doin'?

FANNIE MAE: Just, you know, eating doughnuts…

OFFICE OF FEDERAL HOUSING ENTERPRISE OVERSIGHT: Father says I should hang out with you guys. Just in case, you know, something happens.

FREDDIE MAC: (mumbling) You're a retard.

OFFICE OF FEDERAL HOUSING ENTERPRISE OVERSIGHT: What?

FREDDIE MAC: Oh, I just said, check out my new guitar.

OFFICE OF FEDERAL HOUSING ENTERPRISE OVERSIGHT: I don't see a guitar.

FREDDIE MAC: Just… have a doughnut.