Dog Parks and Club Culture

Thanks to Gmail's suggested reading links, I clicked on the article about "Dangers of the Dog Park" because it sounded kind of exciting. As I'm reading through, I realize that we as humans can relate to being in these scenarios too. Here's some choice risks:

"Risk 1: Unaltered Dogs
A female dog that has not been spayed is in great danger at a dog park. Unaltered males could mount the female in a matter of moments, opening her up to the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. And female dogs in heat could bring on an onslaught of attention from males, who might then become aggressive with each other to win over the female. If you’re bringing your unaltered female dog to the dog park, do so with extreme caution. Avoid taking her there when she is in heat."

Waaaaaaait a minute. That sounds an awful lot like when you take a trampy friend to a club. You know the girl- she really just wants to go out to meet boys but if all doesn't work out at the end of the night she's all, "We girls gotta stick together!" Yeah, avoid taking that friend out, especially when she's in heat, which is invariably. Where was I? Oh, yes.

"Risk 2: Food and Toys
Outside food and toys are a joy—to the dog to whom they belong. Another dog’s food and toys are an invitation; your dog will want to take these desired objects by any means possible. Outside toys can bring upon fights, potentially causing injury and passing germs."

That's kind of like when I go out to Bungalo 8, sit down at the bar and cut a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig line of cocaine, I'm talking strait up pure Bolivian Marching Powder, some super fine Yeyo Bazulco, you know what I'm sayin'? And as the crowd starts to form around me like moths to a light, I put my arms around the palatial rails of snow and say, "Naw, dude. It's mine."

"Risk #5: Foreign Objects, People and Animals"

I have no club reference to this. Clearly it is a commentary about immigration and I don't want to piss Lou Dobbs off.