Sesame Street

From an email conversation I'm having right now:

Friend 1: Hey gang, I have two extra seats at a table at the Sesame Street benefit next Wednesday night. Anyone free and want to join us? Program: Hosted by Robin Roberts and Elmo, Honoring Joe and Jill Biden, John Legend performing

Me: I'm in!

Friend 2: Me too!

Friend 1: Looks like you guys are my hot lesbian couple!

Me: HOT!!

Friend 2: We will be the female Bert and Ernie.

Me: Who has the unibrow? I don't want to be that one. But I will if you don't.

Friend 2: Unibrow is Bert. I'll be him because he is a beanpole.

Me: So I'm the butch one. That's okay.

Friend 2: No Ernie is the woman. He's a softy. Bert is the bitchy one

Me: No, Bert is the bitchy one, so he's the woman.

Friend 2: Ernie is emotionally available. Bert isn't.

Me: Good point.