Werther's Original

Please tell me this can't be true. It's the (touching?) story of a grandmother and her biological grandson falling in love. With, like, each other:

From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship,' Pearl remembers happily. 'For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.'

Phil admits that he had the same feelings towards Pearl.

'I wanted to kiss her there and then,' he says. 'My feelings were overwhelming.'

And to think, I was eating.