Dream Job

You guys, in my next life I want to come back as Charlie Sheen's coke dealer. No, but for serial. Can you imagine? You only work once a day, and the hardest part of your job is carrying a suitcase around. I mean, most people do that on a daily basis anyway! Sure, you may get a call in the middle of the night to crash a porn star party (bonus!) but so what? That means you can sleep in until Sheen's court mandated rehab stint is over. And by the time that happens, about three days later, you'll still have a year's salary of cocaine profits sitting pretty in your offshore account. It's a win-win. So long as Two and a Half Men stays on the air...