ID, Please

OMG I totes just had security keep out people from the office! You see normally security would call and before they can even say a name I'm all, "Send them up," whatever like I care. But after this crazed guy tried to sneak into my boss's TV studio and stabbed a security guard, I'm a bit more careful about who I let in these days. I've even gone so far as to meet people downstairs who have gifts for her so if anyone wanted to harm her they'd have to go through me first.

So when a group of dudes were all, "Yeah, we have a meeting," I was all, "No you don't," and security was all, "Yeah, GET OUT!" and they were all, "Whoa!" and guess what? They were totally just scamming to try to get into the office to do a sales pitch or something!

I just reminded myself of a moment last weekend where I was trying to explain the word "totes" to an Austrian man. He actually said, "I do not like this 'totes'". Dude, you're in America now. You better get with the program.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

I'm hungry.