Delegating the Delegates

Clinton: It's here! It's here! (waving paper, running inside house)

Obama: (jumping off the couch) Whassit say?

Clinton: Hold on.

Obama: Open it!

Clinton: Ok, here. It says, "As a compromise to the Michigan and Florida debacle, it shall be decided by the DNC that the winning candidate shall now need exactly 1,779 total delegates, no more, no less." So that means... wait a minute... I have, I HAVE EXACTLY THAT AMOUNT!!! Oh, oh Bar, isn't that wonderful???

Obama: Hil, I have 1,967 total delegates.

Clinton: No, but it says here... see (pointing) that you can have no more that 1,779, and you have more.

Obama: Hil, that makes no sense.

Clinton: Yes it does, ask Howard Dean!

Obama: Hil, that's not even a letter, it's the ValPak coupon weekly.

Clinton: No, it's a letter!

Obama: Maybe it's time for a nap.

Clinton: No! No, I am the winner! You're the Archuleta to my Cook! Ha ha! Yay!

Obama: Hil, let's get you some tea and a book.

Clinton: I got all my reading material right here, baby.

Obama: Oh, Hil.

(voice from the bedroom) Would you goddamn kids keep yer voices down, I'm trying to watch Our House and enjoy my Ovaltine!

Clinton and Obama: Sorry, McCain.