Bring It Down a Notch

My downstairs neighbor died yesterday. When I got home from work I found ambulances, cops, detectives, etc. There was an investigation only because the way he died was kinda strange. He had heart problems but they found him outside the building in the front yard stairwell that leads to the basement. There's rail guards around so he would have had to walk around to get to the stairs, which he would have no reason to do, and yet he was found dead at the bottom of the steps. It's really sad. Of course the cops ruled out foul play but it took a while to gather evidence, etc. which meant that they couldn't move his body until hours later, like, 9:30 at night.

Anyway, it was really upsetting. I have to say though, this man led a great life. I'd see him every day in his boxer shorts, wifebeater, cigar and the most perfectly crafted handlebar mustache you've ever seen. He was always happy. Maybe it's because he smoked a lot of weed; I'd be pretty happy too. So, goodbye, friend. I'll try to keep an eye on the building for you and make sure Crazy Pants stays on her medication.

OK the next post will be a lot happier, I promise.