Losing It

I guess everyone here in my office is on a diet kick (hi-yah!) because a. it's the holidays and b. my office is full of chicks, but everyone asks me, "Where's the fat free cottage cheese" or, "Did you order dark chocolate?" because dark chocolate is a lot better for you then milk chocolate.

But I guess what I want to know is, I'm the one who needs fucking glasses, why are they always asking me where the rabbit food is? It's their super sneaky way of thinking I'm going to get it for them. Instead I give them the most confusing directions possible: "Go to the kitchen and look at the left hand row of cabinets, up top, three from the left on the lower right hand shelf next to the third box of Wheat Thins."

Lazy bitches.