On The Trail

Behind the scenes from the Hillary Clinton campaign tour...

Hillary takes a drag of her cigarette, looks out the window. Campaign adviser Alvin Brown is sitting on the edge of the table, swinging one short leg back and forth.

Clinton: It's absurd.

Brown: Oh, is it?

Clinton: Do you think it's time? Do you think the public will believe it?

Brown: Oh, do you think it's time for Oprah to be riding Obama on her back like a friggin circus dolphin? Wake up, Hil! It's time to play dirty!

Clinton: But... he wasn't even there...

Brown: That's why it's so brilliant! (Hops up, pulls down a chart) I get some Vietnam vets to come forward and say Obama was responsible in the killing of over a thousand children in Hanoi on their way to a church newly constructed by Christian missionaries. In retaliation, their parents used Russian Novitock nerve agents against our troops, causing three swiftboats to collide into our safe camp in neutral territory, killing thousands of our own.

Clinton: Novitock nerve gas wasn't invented until the 1990's.

Brown: Oh, was it? (smiling)

Clinton: Even if it was, Obama wasn't in Vietnam.

Brown: So he says... (flips chart over revealing Obama with a gun)

Clinton: That's just a photoshop of the famous picture of Lee Harvey Oswald in his backyard.

Brown: Exactly.

To be continued...