A day by day and often hourly account of a temp

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The Saga Continues

And now, behind the scenes of tonight's Republican candidates YouTube debate:

A small, windowless room. Fred Thompson sits at a table. Giuliani is perched on the desk next to him.

Thompson: I don't understand.

Giuliani: Don't understand, or don't want to understand?

Thompson: I just feel so... lost.

Giuliani: Do you feel lost, or do you feel that you are losing?

Thompson: For chrissakes Giuliani will you just let me talk? I don't know what to do (pounding his fists on the table). I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

Giuliani: It's simple, Freddy. It's time to throw in the towel. I've planted the question and you're going to answer it as I see fit, see? Or else.

Thompson: You wouldn't dare.

Giuliani: Oh, I've done it before.

Thompson: Poppycock! What makes you think you can seduce my wife?!

Giuliani: What makes you think I haven't already? (pulls red panties from his pocket)

Thompson: Jesus, Rudy, everyone knows those are yours, you fruit.

Giuliani: (embarrassed) Oh, I'm sorry I pulled out the wrong pair. I mean these... (pulls out a pair of black lace panties)

Thompson: Where did you get those?!

Giuliani: Where do you think?

Thompson: Rudy, I'm an old man.

Giuliani: Tell me something I don't know, dickhead.

Thompson: Is that any way to talk to your father?!

Giuliani: W...what?

Thompson: That's right, Rudy. I am your father.

Giuliani: But then... your hot wife Jeri, she's...

Thompson: Your mother, Rudy.

Giuliani: But...

Thompson: You slept with your mother, Rudy.

(Giuliani screams out in agony. He pulls out a ballpoint pen and violently pokes his eyes out. He died a whimpering, bleeding mess on the floor)

Thompson: (smiling) Well, that was too easy. One down... 5 more to go...

to be continued...


At 8:22 AM, Anonymous lawyergirl said...

It almost went down like that.


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