True Love

After purchasing $230 worth of new flatware at Crate & Barrel with the company card, I went to the kitchen to arrange said flatware. In walks Recently Engaged Woman.

REW: Hey.

Me: Hey!

REW: New flatware?

Me: Yeah.

REW: (sigh).

Me: What's the matter? The engagement too overwhelming for you?

REW: Yeah. It's like, I'm just not as excited as I should be.

Me: Look at it this way- you're going to get many parties and tons of free shit.

REW: Yeah... (points to microwave) Has that always been there?

Me: Yeah.

REW: Oh.

Me: Go home.

REW: Okay.