Tempy

A day by day and often hourly account of a temp

Friday, September 28, 2007

Anyone?

So I got a call the other day from a casting agent I didn't even know had my info/cared about me but anyway, they asked me if I could audition for a new late night talk show. They're looking for girls to dress up as "cigarette girls", you know, those vaudevillian type ladies who walk around looking skanky? So clearly they thought of me.

Now, even if I were to get this job I couldn't take it due to another show commitment, but I decided to accept the audition because you never know who you'll meet. The woman on the phone says, "So, for the 'audition' just come in looking... you know, show us your body. Um, for lack of a better term..."

"Look trashy?"

"Exactly."

Awesome. So I spent all afternoon looking through my wardrobe. What could I wear that's sexy but not embarrassing; trashy yet still me? I went through all my skirts. Finally I found a great short jean skirt. But I still didn't know what to wear up top. I chose a bra that accentuated my bosom, natch, but the top was perplexing me. Well the next thing I know I found this great shirt that I haven't worn in years. Perfect! I put it on but there was something missing. Ah, yes... yes! I scrambled through my drawers and found an even better short pleated skirt. That, together with a sexy undergarment and some thigh-high stockings and boots did the trick. And as I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized I had constructed the perfect slutty/sexy/rockstar ensemble for this ridiculous audition.

And then I realized it was the same exact outfit I wore to my 30th birthday party. Is there anything anyone wants to tell me?

4 Comments:

At 11:24 AM, Blogger patient boy said...

I unfortunately had to miss that party so I'm off the hook...er...I mean, I can't speak to that.

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Jonah said...

honey, just accept that you're a trashy 30 year old slut. it'll make things so much better.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger Tempy said...

Not when you're 31.

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As your lawyer, I'd advise you to take the 5th. (it was a really good outfit).

 

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