Wicked Pisser

Happy Monday! Spring is in the air, I'm wearing a dress, and this just happened. Yes, it's a casting call for a new Jersey Shore spinoff-like show called Massholes. Featuring, well, Massachusettes A##holes. Here is the actual casting call, I did not make this up:

"You come from all over - Gloucester, Worcester, South End, Charlestown, Chicopee and South Swansea. You share a love for muscle cahs, hair products and little necks on the frickin half shell. You don't take sh*t from nobody - least of all each othah. You are the hottest girls and proudly buff guys from Massa -freakin-chusettes who believe in God, Family, The Red Sox and partying!!

You ready to live togethah, laugh togethah, drink togethah and love togethah? You'll pahty on the beaches of the Cape where Roast Beef Hoagies and cases of Narragansett Light are on every Celtics towel next to a bottle of baby oil and a can of hair spray! Are you down for one wicked cool summah, and be a part of the most wicked reality show evah!

Doron Ofir Casting is looking for blue collar, hard working, harder partying, tough talking, damn good looking Mass natives from all over the state .... Yea we'll consider preps from Wellsley too if they got what it takes.

Get Ready for the the summer of your life on the show that will knock the sox off the Red Sox, blow canons from Lexington to Cornwall and make you wish you remembered where you pahked your frickin cah cause that clunker is in Jersey!"

Cut Ben Affleck banging the casting director's door down.