I Kill Plants

I don't know what's wrong with me but every time I plant-sit I commit mass herbicide. Either I put too much water or too little, I don't talk to them when they need it, or maybe because of a general overall malaise inducing attitude, the plants invariably whither and die. Or slump, or turn odd shades. I swear I don't do it on purpose- I followed all of my friend's detailed instructions but now I feel I must send her a precautionary email like, "Remember when I said I'd go to your house every 3 days and water the plants? Well..."

I'm great with children and animals. You put them in my care, they blossom and thrive. Plants, not so much. This isn't the first time it's happened. It makes me feel just that much more guilty for borrowing her People magazine when I checked the mail.

I did manage to wipe the floor down when I sloshed water all over the place even though she told me, "The only thing I'm like, really particular about, are my wooden floors."

Oops. In other news, I'm so glad Jon Gosselin waited a whole 20 days after his divorce to start dating - I know people that can rival that. Congrats on your independence, Jon!