Regular Joe

Well, hello. Thank you for coming into my office. Well, it's actually my living room, but this is where I do all of my work- I guess you could say I LIVE to work? Ha ha! Ha.

Have a seat. Come closer. There you go. So I'm sure you already know this but I am Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden. There's a lot people don't know about me. It seems that my rival has gotten a little bit of the spotlight because she has nice gams. But I kid. I think it's time you learned a little bit about the real Joe Biden.

Scotch? Don't mind if I do. Oh, kidding, but seriously. Scotch? There you go. It's aged 18 years, I think you'll like it. Careful, that's a plastic tumbler my wife got from Target. Don't want to break the family heirlooms. I pride myself on being a regular guy.

Cigarillo? I love these things. The wife hates 'em but what can you do? Oh, don't mind my cat and confidante, Friskers. He likes to sit there. Hard to get him to move sometimes. Har har! How's that scotch?

So let's get back to me. I have a lot of interesting things about me.

For example did you know on May 11, 1999, I cast my 10,000th Senate vote on the floor of the Senate? Sure did. I also commute every day from my home in Wilmington, Delaware, to Washington D.C. on a train when the Senate is in session. Joe Biden takes public transport.

I used to stutter as a child. I don't anymore.

My wife and I have three children: Beau, Hunter and Ashley.

My first marriage ended with the death of my first wife, Neilia Hunter, who was killed along with our daughter, Naomi, in an automobile accident.

I attended Archmere Academy in Claymont, Delaware, which is a Catholic Prep School, in 1957. It's true! Catholic boy all the way.

So you see, there's many sides of me, Joe Biden. I hope we get your vote this November. Because if you don't, I will have Friskers kill you. I am kidding! More scotch?