A Thousand Words

And now a message from The Guy In The Photo Who Came With Your Picture Frame:

Hi! My name is Barry. I like potato chips, kittens and rainbows. I'm very confident but have a vulnerable side- that's why my arms are crossed. Do you see how the tight flexing in my massive folded arms accentuates the bulging veins? That means I can protect you. But I know you are an independent woman.

What picture will go in my place I wonder? A young nephew wearing shoes that are too big? A family caught in a candid shot at the Log Flume ride at Great Adventure? You holding two golden tickets to my gun show? Well, that's silly. The show is always free and you can watch it all day long right here.

I like cake too. But just for the frosting. I used to like to take a dab of it and put it on Jennifer's nose! Jennifer is the girl in the silhouetted picture holding up a child at the beach. I used to date her but then I found out she was cheating on me with that asshole in the Graduation shot. He's really 34 you know he just looks young because he still has zits.

Anyway, last I heard Jennifer was posing with her bastard child with that Nordic douche who usually does basketball shot. He probably teabags his fucking soup when no one's looking. Dick.