Quote of the Week

So as none of you know because it was actually too traumatic to joke about, the Rat/Man/Pig/Bear broke through the mesh the exterminators put up, and for one big hurrah, trashed the cabinet under my sink on Monday. Then I turned the sink on... and it turns out that the scratching noise was the mother f@#ker chewing through my pipes. So now I need a plumber.

The thing has since died, but I had to patch up the hole again. This time I took old CD's, pressed them up against the wall and duct taped them. My reasoning was that wire mesh can catch on claws or teeth, thus aiding the removal situation, whereas the side of a cd is slick and hard to grab on to. I tried explaining this to my sister.

Me: So, I put the CD's up against the wall...

Sis: Because rats love music.

Me: No, because it would take longer for the rat to scratch through it because...

Sis: ... because he'll have one hand up swaying with a lighter.

Ladies and gentlemen, my sister. She'll be here all week.