Song

"Notary"

To be sung to the tune of Laura Brannigan's "Gloria"

Notary, you’ve got a difficult vocation
Cuz if he won’t swear the oath
You gotta get an affirmation
Your training course is six hours
So your patience you must toughen
To listen to the instructor
And eat complimentary muffins

So now you got an embosser
And a super fancy stamp
You’re a goddamn certifying champ
You’re a Notary

Notary, that ID he has is suspect
But if it turns out to be a false one
Is it acceptable defect?

Notary
(Notary)
It’s a legal acquisition
(Notary)
But if they won’t go to court
(Notary)
You gotta take a deposition!
(Notary)

But you really don't remember
Was it truthful that they said?
Are the oaths all in your head?
Calling, Notary

A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha

Notary, this litigation is a caper
So before you know it
You’ll have to seal the chattel paper

But is it all really worth it?
You’re not a pimp mac daddy baller
Cuz you can only charge two dollars
Silly Notary