I Am Now Officially Grossed Out

I was doing some research about something completely unrelated to the following when I came across this on a website:

"Are you feeling stressed out, lethargic, bloated and/or gassy? Do you suffer from loss of appetite? Have you ever experienced burning sensations in the pit of your stomach? Do you eat more than normal but still feel hungry?Are you frequently constipated? Do you grind your teeth or drool while sleeping? Have you been feeling fatigued? The reality is you could be infested with parasitic worms."

The next line is:

"Please do not panic! And please remain calm."

No, and no.