My Conspiracy Theories Run Deep and Wide

By now most of you know what I think about the Katie Holmes pregnancy flim flam. For those of you that don't, it's the theory that she was pregnant with Chris Kleins' baby when they broke up and because she was a Christian "virgin", she couldn't get an abortion, so conveniently as Tom Cruise was looking for a gay-shield/love interest, he met with Katie Holmes and said he'd be the daddy. Wouldn't be the first time he adopted a child.

So in order to make this math work, she had the baby in March but had to pretend it was May. That is why her actual birth records are shady and why they waited so long to introduce her. By their account, Suri is 10 months:



I'm sorry, that kid is at least a year old.