Ceiling Eyes Has A Mom

I really missed my calling in the mom department on this one. I'll start from the beginning, which as we all know, is a very good place to start.

There's a woman by the name of Audrina Patridge. No, she's not an actress, although she's been on TV. No, she's not a dancer, although she was just kicked off Dancing With The "Stars". She doesn't even have a job. But she has money. She also has a very unfortunate nickname: Ceiling Eyes. It's because she looks like this.

That's her looking directly at you.

Now, the reason she's "famous" is because she was on that show, The Hills. Her personality has been described as that of a soggy lima bean. But her mother, well that's a different story. Someone found her gem of a maternal angel outside a restaurant the other night, and this is what ensued. Sometimes, I wish my mom would get shitcanned tipsy and defend my honor.