Don't Try New Stuff

Somebody yesterday forced me to eat a "wellness soup" with ginger root and goji berries. I still want to vomit. If that's the definition of wellness, then just hit me over the head with a plate of french fries.

But seriously, folks- when your fruity friends tell you to try something "new", don't bother. Here's what I think I ate yesterday according to a simple google search:

Gojiberries, dates, barley, yam, astralagus root, shiitake, sea whelk, chicken.

I really don't feel well. I blame the sea whelk. That's right, I ate a goddamn snail. As a weight loss remedy, yes, this is great because I can't eat anything today.