Captain Jack

Well, this is awkward. News outlets (not really) are reporting that Johnny Depp's life partner, Vanessa Paradis, wants him to quit the movie he is in with Angelina Jolie. Word on the street (and by street I mean gossip columnists on a slow day) is that she doesn't want to lose her man to the woman who is famous for... stealing men. Oh, please. Depp is perfect in every way and would never do that.

Here's her lip syncing at some awards show looking about as high as a kite. If you as me, she has a pretty sweet life, that Vanessa Paradis.