A day by day and often hourly account of a temp

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Serious Time

Well, one minute I'm making tequila-horny jokes, the next I'm gonna talk about rape. Awesome, huh? Listen, if you haven't read this post, please do. It's been making the rounds for months and it brings up some interesting points. No, I didn't write it- if I did it would be laced with inappropriate boobie jokes. But seriously, folks.

So if you have 5 minutes, read it and think about it. Not often in our culture do women even talk about this with each other but it's always on our minds, and yes, I have had close friends who have been raped, assaulted, almost assaulted, groped, stalked, etc. Too many in fact. Let's just say the "1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted" statistic has already been proven true in my life. We live every day with this fact. Day or night, good neighborhood or bad, it's always there in the back of our heads and I'm glad someone addressed it.

Now, I'm blessed with excellent intuition; I can feel someone's negative or dangerous energy fairly quickly. Then there are those weirdos who just exude the rapey vibe. For example, there's this guy who works as an engineer in my office building. EVERY woman here gets the same reaction when he walks in the room to fix a lightbulb or something. It's like the room gets freezing and we feel like we can't breathe. No joke- other women in the office say the same exact thing. His eyes are just empty, it's so weird. It's gotten to the point where when we have a problem, we don't call the building anymore- our accountant changes the lightbulbs. We "joke" that he probably has "tents of children in his backyard", he's that weird. But all I can say is if I ever accidentally end up in an elevator with him, I'd be very concerned, you know?

This is not to say that all men are rapists. Obviously. But it's important for men to note that women deal with something on a daily basis that they probably don't think about. It's kind of like, as a white person, I'll never know what it feels like to be a person of color being followed by a salesperson in a store. It's just a fact, but it's a sign of respect to understand that my friends of color experience it on a daily basis.

Anyhoo, super serious post, sorry. I'll talk about something funny later.


At 3:50 PM, Blogger Amanda H said...

Thanks for sharing this. I hadn't seen it before, and found it to be a pretty empowering perspective. Since being assaulted (thankfully not sexually), my perspective has definitely shifted, especially toward men of similar age and appearance to the guy who assaulted me. I have really struggled with some (white) guilt about how unfair that is to those men. But when I have been truly freaked out (at least post PSTD recovery), there has been some boundary-crossing like she described. Recognizing that is helpful to me.

At 9:08 PM, Blogger Tempy said...

Yup, I know about that- so sorry. I used to pay my cab drivers an extra $5 to stay outside my apt after they drove me home from my late shifts at the bar JUST in case I needed to get back into a car if I found a bad character in my hallway. They almost always declined the $, but stayed anyway. It's a small price to pay for keeping a feeling of sexual safety, you know? Because I don't want that taken from me.


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