Bon Beauty

Well barf-tastic. As some of you know, I occasionally cover shows for this online magazine so I am constantly getting invited to screenings and events. This is what I just got an invite to:

"(New York, NY ­ April 6, 2009) -- The Tribeca Film Festival today announced that the first screening of the documentary, Bon Jovi: When We Were Beautiful will play as a work in progress screening at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival, presented by founding sponsor American Express."

OK, first of all, what's up with that title? When we were beautiful? Does that somehow imply that they are in no way still desirable? Because they're dudes- dudes don't lose their "beauty". But what concerns me the most is that it is a "work in progress" screening. To me that translates into a failed plate of doodie pie.

"Directed by filmmaker and photographer Phil Griffin and produced by Academy Award®-and Emmy-winning producers @radical.media,"

Rut roh, already they've dropped some heavy artillery by using the "A" and "E" bombs, and I'm not talking about Awesome and Exciting.

"The documentary was filmed on the road and behind the scenes with the band during their 2008 Lost Highway World Tour,"

This cannot be better than Rock of Love

"...which famously came to a close with a historic concert in New York City’s Central Park and two sold-out nights at Madison Square Garden."

Since when have they not sold out "The Garden"? Their band was invented for the Garden.

"At the height of their success—with a number one album and a number one tour—and celebrating huge milestones, Bon Jovi: When We Were Beautiful susses out the secrets behind this legendary band’s determined and charismatic leader Jon Bon Jovi, and band members Richie Sambora, David Bryan, and Tico Torres."

Translation: Please care about us again other than paying homage by our 45 yesr old fans singing endless karaoke versions at a bar at 2am.

"'Nothing says rock ’n’ roll more than Bon Jovi,' said Tribeca Film Festival co-founder Jane Rosenthal."

Jesus Christ.

'This compelling documentary gives you a glimpse behind the scenes of one of the great rock bands and unveils how they have stayed on top for the past 25 years. "

Hey, wanna go? I mean I might be able to think of something more exciting to do, and it may involve my couch and a pair of nail clippers. I'm just saying.