It's Fun at the Office

This an email thread that just happened between myself and a co-worker:

Him: What are you getting for lunch?

Me: Grilled cheese and fries. American lunch, son.

Him: I'll get hot pastrami sandwich, Mutli grain bread, Deli mustard. Add air baked fries unless you want to split yours…

Me: I’m an American. I don’t split no fries.

Him: Let’s go buy a giant house we can’t afford.

Me: Nice- and I’ll have 14 kids I cant take care of.

Him: Bring them over to play with my chimpanzee.

Me: Ok but leave the firearms out where the kids can see them.