Mix Tape

Looks like Captain Fancypants AKA Osama Bin Laden has a new tape out and no, it's not of his greatest hits.

It's yet another tirade about God and jihad and challenging Obama and blah blah blah. I mean, it's getting kind of old. He's like the grandparent who won't shut up. We get it, you're hiding out somewhere commentating. Maybe you should get a job at ESPN Mr. Sidelines. Anyway, here's a translation:

"There is only one strong way to bring the return of Al-Aqsa and Palestine, and that is jihad in the path of God. The duty is to urge people to jihad and to enlist the youth into jihad brigades. Islamic nation, you are capable of defeating the Zionist entity with your popular capabilities and your great hidden strength _ without the support of (Arab) leaders and despite the fact that most of (the leaders) stand in the barracks of the Crusader-Zionist alliance."

He then went on to refer to Obama:

"Barack Obama [has received a] heavy inheritance, [two wars and] the collapse of the economy. So I am asking him, does he want a piece? Does he want a piece of me? For I shall bring it when I am feeling better. I can go head to head with you anytime, son. And I mean that in the [slang] way, not as if you were my actual son although people think that we are related. Oh, and I called, I want my name back. Yes, my [shit] is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."