I'm Professional

OK, the level of kookoo-berra in my office is now at a staggering high. As most of you know, I work for two high profile women. As such, I've received insane phone calls, fan mail with mustache hairs, crazy emails, you name it. But over the last two days I firmly believe that our company's name, phone # and address is on every crazy man stalker website.

Yesterday I was stuck on the phone with a guy who was telling me his life story. When I IM'ed a co-worker to buzz my intercom and pretend that I had to go, he said, "Oh, no, I'll hold." And I said, "Well, I have a meeting." And he says, "I'll still hold." At this point my co-worker starts buzzing me repeatedly yelling, "You'll be out of a job if you don't get in here!" And I'm all, "You hear that?" And he said, "I'll hold."

So I hung up on him. Uh, oh.

Then there's this guy who sends emails daily asking me to forward them to my boss in hopes that she'll hire him. Every day. He follows up with phone calls. Twice a week. Then one day he just called me to say hi, and wish me a happy new year. So I said, "Thanks!" and then there was this huge silence and then I was like, "Hello?' And he's all, "Yeah I'm here." More silence.

JUST NOW that same guy just called and after he said goodbye, he said, "I love you."

But this morning I got a little nervous. A package arrived and it said, handwritten, "ONLY TO BE OPENED BY [MY BOSS]". Yikes. So I opened it and shook it around because the first thing you do when you get a letter with anthrax is to distribute it as evenly as possible around the office- a fan would be best. Luckily it was just a letter so I gave it to my boss. This happened.

BOSSLADY: You know, you don't have to open these. I don't want anything to happen to you.

ME: I'd take a bullet for you, [Bosslady].

Then she took her pants off. Kidding. She didn't but if you've been a long time reader of my blog you'd remember that story.

Anyway, I'm stocking up on Cipro.