Such a Dog

DEBATE AID: Great. Great job Joe. Now, look her in the eyes.

BIDEN: Like this?

DEBATE AID: Well, when you squint you kind of look like a grave robber.

BIDEN: How about this?

DEBATE AID: Good. Now after you make your points tonight, look at her straight ahead. Not up, not down, and for the love of god definitely not up and down.

BIDEN: No elevator stare. Got it.

DEBATE AID: then you say, "And by the way- nice ovaries."

BIDEN: "And by the way, nice..." hey, wait... What?

DEBATE AID: Women love it when you compliment their ovaries.

BIDEN: Come on, really?!?

DEBATE AID: I mean, she has had 5 children. She has magnificent ovaries.

BIDEN: Now wait one minute...

DEBATE AID: Then lick you lips and...

BIDEN: Hey! What's that peeking under your hair!

(A struggle ensues. Biden rips off aid's mask. It is Karl Rove)

BIDEN: What the...?

ROVE: Okay, ok. It's me.

BIDEN: Karl, you know you're supposed to stay 20 yards away from the democratic party.

ROVE: Oh, I know I... I just miss it. I haven't hoodwinked anyone in years. And I used to be so good at it. Now Bush left me and... I'm so sad. And lonely. I just want to show the Republicans that I can still win them an election.

BIDEN: Get out of here, Rove.

ROVE: Can't I make just one political ad saying you and Obama eat puppies?

BIDEN: Goodbye, Rove.

ROVE: I mean, it's so cruel... eating puppies.

BIDEN: Karl, everyone knows that when Obama was in Kenya he ate dog because it was part of their culture.

ROVE: Wait, you mean that's true?

BIDEN: Yeah.

ROVE: You really shouldn't have told me that.