Out Of The Mouths of Babes

And now, the debate, as relayed by a teenage girl.

"Yo, so check this shit out. Barack and that old dude get on the stage and they're all, 'nice to see you' and I'm all, whatever let's get to this. So the first half hour they we just talkin' about money and this guy named Joe who I guess is like, a plumber and they would not stop talking about this guy and I'm like, hold up, bitches, who cares about a guy with butt-crack who can't pay his bills or whatever. So then finally the old dude was all, 'why you gotta be hanging around with terrorists and that weird liberal group Chestnut or Oak Tree' or some thing and stuff and Barack got crazy! I thought he was gonna whip out the vaseline and take his earrings out like, 'C'mon bitch- you want some?' and McCang or whatever is all, 'Yeah, I'll take some of that and serve it UP to you,' and I was like DAAAYUM. Then Rick called so I had to take it cuz he always calls at 9:45, it's like, his thing, and so then when I got back Barack was talkin' all about half born babies or some shit and I was like, ew, seriously? Gross and that Mac dude was like, 'abortion is wrong' and I was like, um ok, but get out of my uterus old man. That's so fucking gross, I don't know why old dudes like to talk about vaginas all the time.

I missed the end because Dianna texted me and was all, 'I need the math notes' and I was like, 'seriously? Do them yourself lazy fool' and she's such a bitch and I really think she stuffs."