Can You Catch Crabs From Television?

So I watched A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila last night and I felt so dirty I immediately had to take a shower afterwards. It was one of the final episodes where she's down to four- two guys and two girls- and meets their families. If you've ever seen a train wreck on top of a car pile-up next to a two headed baby, that can give you a pretty good idea of why I couldn't turn it off.

First of all, the families were worse than her. This one guy's family consisted of the mom and dad, and the step mom and step dad, and I'm thinking, "how cool that they can all be friends" until the two moms started kissing at Tila's request and then she joins them, and the two dads start beating off and then they all go in the hot tub and pass Tila around and start this full on family orgy. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Honestly, I need a steel wool shower ala Silkwood and a priest blessing my apartment after that. After I vomited and cried, I went back. So this other family was at the dinner table and Tila's all grilling the mom and aunt about being closeted bisexuals and this little 7 year old boy looks so perplexed so the camera crew takes him outside and interviews him and he says, "Tonight I learned that a bisexual is a woman with two boyfriends and two girlfriends".

BLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!!!

Oh, I still feel ill. Luckily the show ended. Why didn't I just shut it off, you ask? I'm sorry, did you even read my post?