I Try

I've been reading a lot about this blog that's about a hooker that's getting all this attention and book deals and such and I'm thinking, maybe more people would read my blog if I sexed it up a bit? Well, here goes...

Wednesday, June 11th

It's happened again- I got a phone call from that guy who just doesn't say anything. I pick up the phone expectant, only to find it's either a wrong number or a bad connection. But I can hear him breathing.

I'm all wet. Because I spilled coffee on my jeans short pleated skirt, and I just can't seem to find a tissue. So I go into the kitchen and reach up to get a fresh box. Preferably a tightly packed box. Of tissues.

And while I'm reaching up, I realize I can't quite reach the top so I step up on this little ladder and lift myself up a few feet.

"Need any help?"

It's our Accountant, Phil.

"I can see right up. To your face. And you look frustrated. Here..."

Phil helps me with the tissues and I feel his hot breath next to mine as his hand brushes against my elbow.

"Thanks Phil."

"You bet. Hey, I'll need some copies when you get a chance." He hands me a thick stack. Of paper.

"Feel free to do double sided," he adds, "I like it on both sides. End to end. On the paper. It saves the environment."

I nod, "It makes me hot. When we don't save, you know, because of global warming."

"Did somebody say global warming?" It was our analyst, Sarah. "I swear, I had to peel my pantsuit off my body last night when I came. Home."

I finally get over to the copy machine and toss the stack into the spinning wheels. I watch as the papers go back and forth. In and out. I ponder if that is what is powering this machine as it whirs and the copies just fly out...

Oh, wait! Something interesting and slightly scandalous actually did happen. A guy in my office who walks with a cane just got mowed down by Eliot Spitzer on the street! Ok, if that's not sexy, I don't know what is.