The Primaries

The day after Michigan...

A locker room behind an arena.

Romney: Wooooooooo hooooooooo! (takes off cleats) That was awesome! Huh, guys? Huh?

McCain: (huffing) Yeah, you really killed them out there, Mitt.

Romney: I mean did you see that guys? Did you see?!! I totally kicked ass out there! Yes! Yes! (snaps towel on Huckabee) Yes!

Huckabee: Hey, stop that.

Romney: What's the matter, fatty, gonna cry?

McCain: Enough! Please! It was a good game, Mitt. A damn good game for you. But let's just... relax... we've all had good games.

Romney: Not like this one you guys. (douses head in Gatorade). Man I'm stoked!

Thompson: Could someone pass me my laxatives?

Romney: What's the matter grandpa, pissed cuz you haven't won even one state?

Thompson: No, I am constipated.

Huckabee: Jesus Christ.

Jesus: (appearing) Yes?

Huckabee: No! No one can see you here! get back! (pushes Jesus into locker, shuts it)

Romney: What was that?

Huckabee: Nothing... n... nothing...