Chapter Three

Behind the Caucus.

A buffet food line in the depths of Iowa...

Clinton: (to the food server) I'll take an extra helping of corn, and some chicken.

Food Server: We only have dark meat.

Clinton: Oh, that's fine. Go ahead, don't be shy. And get me some duct tape cuz I might as well tape it on!!!

Laughter from the crowd, flashbulbs

Obama: (whispering in her ear) I know you like the dark meat, Hillary.

Clinton: Oh, Barack, that's disgusting. Seriously, enough of that. And I'm sick of your gloating. We're tied!

Obama: Not according to the Iowa Ledger. I'm 6 points ahead.

Clinton: Fucking Ledger. We all know they are only polling in college towns.

Obama: So what? Jealous I can get the youth vote?

Clinton: At least I don't need a major TV talk show host to parade me around like a goddamn sideshow pony!

Obama: Oh yeah, well at least I don't need to use my spouse's clout to get attention. And that pinko commie Barbara Streisand.

Clinton: I tried to pawn Streisand off on Kucinich...

Food Server: Dessert?

Obama: She'll have the chocolate cake. You like chocolate, don't you Hillary? (licks lips)

Clinton: No, actually I'll take the vanilla.

Obama: My mother was white.

Clinton: I fucking hate you.

To be continued...