That Freezing Caucus Gave Me Raucous Streptococcus!

Hey guys! It's caucus day in Iowa and you know what that means!

Actually, not a lot of people know what it means. Let me walk you through a typical caucus day for Democrats!

First of all, what is a caucus? A caucus, whose latin root caucae, which means "to move about a gymnasium", is an event where people get together and talk in "town hall" style about their candidates. Then much like our founding father's estranged father country, there is a parliamentary style move-about the room depending on who is into which candidate. Picture high-school-dance meets dodgeball-pick. Then the unpopular ones, ie those who get less than 15% of the "vote", have to say goodbye to their individualism and conform to the lesser of two evil masses. It's kind of like that movie, The Blob. By day's end, the entire country finds out the big answer we've been waiting for- What Does Iowa Think? This is the basis for the entire candidate's future.

Iowa.

Meanwhile, the Republicans vote like normal people and then go out for steak.