Showgirl

Overheard on the casino floor the day before the democratic debates in Vegas:

At the blackjack table

Clinton: I'd like a hit, please.

Edwards: Why a hit? You should double down. You've got two aces. Always double down when you have a two 10's or 11's.

Clinton: Okay... I guess I'll double down then.

Obama: You are such a flip flopper.

Clinton and Edwards: Shut up Barack!

Obama: Whatever.

Dealer: Lady gets two blackjacks.

Clinton: Yes! Fucking yes!

Biden: You are such a sore winner.

Clinton: Oh, why hello Joe. I didn't even see you there.

Biden: Ha, ha. Ha.

Richardson: Here you go Hillary! Vodka cranberry seltzer! Just like you asked!

Clinton: (spitting) Is this Ocean Spray cranberry? I specifically asked for unsweetened Lakewood organic cranberry juice!

Richardson (whispering, bowing) I'm sorry senator...

Clinton: And as for you, Joe, perhaps you should be thinking about being extra nice to me too, see? Because when I am the nominee, I'll need a vice. Vice president, that is.

Biden: Why are you pulling up your skirt? Dear god, is that a garter?

Clinton: My husband, we're alike, he and I. I always get my way. No matter what it takes.

Biden: Please don't try to fuck me.

Clinton: Well then you better play a little nicey-poo at the next debate. Joe LIEdon.

Richardson: Good one senator!

Clinton: Shut up.

Richardson: Yes, ma'am.

Obama: (swigs his scotch, wipes mouth. Coughs. Regains composure) Hillary, you won't get away with this. When I am nominated, me and Edwards are going all the way.

Edwards: Um, I'm sorry... excuse me? I thought that... like, I'd win the nomination and you'd be my VP.

Obama: Okay. We can talk about that Edwards. Or... we could talk about, healthcare?

Dodd: Healthcare!

Edwards: Where'd he come from?

Obama: (to himself) That was close.

Clinton: Oh, no.

Richardson: What?

Clinton: Dennis is coming over.

Edwards: Quick, don't look over there.

Kucinich: Hey! Hey guys!

Clinton, Edwards, Obama, Richardson, Dodd: Hi Dennis.

Kucinich: Whatchya doin', huh? Whaaat's that guys?

Obama: Blackjack, Dennis.

Clinton: Blackjack (sips martini. Winks at Richardson.)

Kucinich: Well, golly, can I see? Alls I wanna do is watch, guys.

Clinton: Fine. He can play.

Edwards, Obama, Dodd: Whaaaaat?

Clinton: Let him in. I want to see what he can do.

Richardson: But, senator... you couldn't possibly even consider him for a...

Clinton: Did you look me directly in the eye, Bill?!

Richardson: No, ma'am.

to be continued...