Stalling

Yet another closeted politician who consistently votes against gay rights was arrested for illegal lewd sexual acts of the homosexual nature.

Republican senator Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport for attempting to elicit sex from an undercover cop in a bathroom. According to the cop, the senator, from the stall, tapped his right foot, "a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct," the cop wrote, and then Craig "ran his left hand several times underneath the partition dividing the stalls."

Wait... right foot and left hand? Now I know what I've been doing wrong! So weird that every time I try to elicit sex from the bathroom someone invariably hands me toilet paper.