My Super's Ex Girlfriend

Friday when I came home from work I found our favorite character, my super's girlfriend, outside the building complaining about something. But this time everyone in the building was outside and the cops had just left.

Que?

Turns out she called the cops because she was "in danger". The Po-Po chalked it up to a domestic dispute. So after an emergency building meeting following the discovery that she had spent all day shellacking the hallway in polyurethane and telling someone she was going to "burn the building down", coupled with the fact that she insisted one of the girls in the building was her niece and I am a member of the Nazi party, the second time she called the cops (because "they" were going to stab her with "rusty Vietnam knives"), we took over.

We explained to the policemen that she was a paranoid schizophrenic mid-episode and she was a danger to herself and those around her. The cops talked to her for a total of five minutes before they agreed with us and called the ambulance.

First best line from the cops: "How do you spell polyurethane?"
Next best line: "Is one of you her niece?"

And finally, after they explained to her that if she didn't go willingly they'd force her to the ambulance she said, "Like last time?"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Other than that I had a lovely weekend.

Anyone know how to remove polyurethane from a hallway?