A day by day and often hourly account of a temp

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Well That Was Nice

So, there's this "women in comedy" website that I've been featured on, and the woman who runs it is really nice, which is why I won't name it. But yesterday one of the contributors wrote this "hilarious" piece, and here it is:

No one wants to see your play.

No one wants to be an extra in your film.
No one cares enough about your ego trip, vanity project to get out of bed on a Sunday morning and stand for twelve hours in the public park that you can't afford a permit for....and re-enact your vision of the French Revolution on a youth soccer field.

No one wants to be a DP on your film.
Because no one wants to be a DP. Who gets more tail: James Cameron or Russell Carpenter? Who's Russell Carpenter? Exactly.

No one wants to DVR your TV appearance.
You're on TV now. Get cable.

Wow, got issues much? Here's the thing- I'm an actress in New York and I've been in some pretty sh@#ty productions, and some darn good ones too. And a lot of plays I see are what I call "Theater of Obligation" because friends are in it. However I'm in this business because I genuinely love it, and if no one wanted to see anyone's play ever, then there would be no demand for theater. But there is. Maybe no one wants to see HER play. That I may understand.

Extras in films? You'd be surprised. If you are creating something awesome/fun/interesting people do want to get involved. Plus I did some research on this blogger and I see she is "SAG eligible" so I know there's a high chance she's certainly been an extra in films.

DP's (Directors of Photography for those of you who aren't hip enough to understand the lingo in her brilliant post) are, as a fact, some of the sexiest men in every crew, and next to a heterosexual leading male actor, do get the most tail. Seriously, every shoot I've ever been on, girls on the crew always swarm to the DP - he's many steps up from the guy with the 10 rolls of duct tape on his belt, and that guy's pretty sexy too if you're into gamers. DP's love their job and often do it for free to build their resume. And, like I said, tail.

The whole DVR your TV appearance thing I don't get- is she saying like, "Please tape me because I don't have a TV" or "Hey, I'm going to be on TV so please DVR it and check me out"? Either of the two requests are perfectly acceptable.

So, yeah. I was mildly surprised that on a site solely created so that comediennes could support each other, this woman thinks it's okay to tell you that you suck, have no friends and are making poor choices. And listen, that's what my mom is for. But seriously folks, (just a joke mom- I know you are supportive), the only place for brash negativity and cheap shots is my blog. Kidding.


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