Not 24

Hmmmmmmmmmm... so I took the elevator with two federal agents this morning. The had the badges and the ear thingies. What on earth do you and your co-worker say when you have to be in this tiny enclosure with Feds for about a minute? I can think of a few things NOT to say:

1. Whoa boy, I sure didn't pay my taxes this year
2. Hey, how's that illegal handgun operation going?
3. I'm gonna be late to work tomorrow- picking up some heroin in a kitten shipped from Mexico
4. So my cousin says, THAT'S not a real passport and I'm like, I KNOW they still make 'em great in Times Square- but it's at the Planet Hollywood and you have to ask the waiter for the "Polanski"
5. I don't get it- why don't they just call you "right hand man" instead of "consigliere"?
6. I'm high as a kite
7. Hmmm... I smell bacon
8. FREEZE MOTHERFUCKERS!
9. Whatevs, that Valerie Plame was a whore
10. Say what you will, but I can hide a highly condensed bomb making solution with considerable potential for mass casualties in a shampoo bottle of 3 ounces or less